You have just returned home from Oxygen and you had a blast, but the entire time you were there you were in pain. You felt it in your left hip all the time and you drank to make yourself feel better. You have been going to physio and doing copious amounts of stretching and strengthening work, but nothing is working.
I’m here to tell you that you have finally broken free. You are living in a way that was unimaginable to you back then. It turns out the pain you have been a victim of is your body’s last ditch attempt to get your attention. You haven’t felt safe in a long time. You knew something was off; that life was hard; that being around people was difficult. I can tell you that all those feelings, sensations, and pain are related.
You have met the love of your life and you have two beautiful, healthy, happy children. In the years after that concert, you put up an enormous fight: training; persevering; battling; and ultimately learning to live with pain, anxiety, bitterness, regret, and resentment. You tried so hard to keep it all in. You fought tooth and nail to live your life the way you wanted to live it.
Just this last week, you brought both your children on their first holiday! It was tough as they were so small, but you still had so much fun! In the days that followed you drove up to Dublin to see another concert. You’ve stood up strong in your work and demanded better teammates because that’s what you deserve. The list goes on! This is what you are capable of. This is the life you deserve. This is the life you are living.
You’re working with a specialist in chronic pain who has enlightened you to the interconnected-ness of the struggle and strife you fought against for 11 years. You are now getting closer and closer to being your true self. Everything you found hard before is now easier. You still have pain but you see it as a signal, you listen to it, you examine it, you learn from it. Same with anxiety, it makes you question your surroundings, your company, your actions. These sensations and emotions serve a purpose and you are learning everyday what that means for you. Ultimately all of this means less pain!
You are still on a journey but it’s a good one. You are blazing a trail with Mags’ help. That painful chapter of your life is over, this new one is just beginning.