When you live with chronic pain, ‘safety’ might not be the first word that comes to mind. You might be more familiar with tension, tightness and the constant background hum of worry, wondering when the next flare-up will come. But what if feeling safe enough was actually one of the keys to helping your body and brain heal?
That’s exactly what my years of teaching have taught me. When I was invited to co-present an experiential workshop at the recent conference of the Association for the Treatment of Neuroplastic Pain (ATNS) in Boulder, Colorado, this is the subject we chose. The presentation, entitled ‘Cultivating a Felt Sense of Internal and External Safety to Heal Neuroplastic Symptoms’, addressed the ways in which practitioners can work alongside patients living with neuroplastic pain to help guide their recovery.
Why safety matters for healing
If you’ve been living with pain for months or years, your nervous system has probably been running on ‘high alert’ mode for a long time. It’s as if your body’s alarm system has become stuck in the ‘on’ position. This hypervigilance means that, unwittingly, you’re always scanning for danger - even when none is there. The constant state of stress you’re living with means your brain and body never get the message that it’s safe to switch into rest, recovery and healing mode. And this is why feeling safe enough isn’t an added bonus, it’s essential.
When most people hear the word safety they think of it in physical terms, being out of harm’s way. But our brains are more sophisticated than that. They’re constantly scanning not just our physical surroundings but also our emotional, social and relational environments. Safety is multi-layered. It’s:
Physical: Am I warm, comfortable and pain-free right now?
Emotional: Am I accepted, understood and not judged?
Relational: Do I feel connected, respected and seen by others?
Environmental: Is my space calm, predictable and not overwhelming?
As many of you who have worked with me will know, something powerful happens when we intentionally tend to these layers of safety. There is a transition from the sympathetic to parasympathetic nervous system. In other words, a shift from fight or flight mode to ‘rest and digest’; from guardedness to openness. Consequently, over time, this can include a move away from pain to the possibility of leading a full and enjoyable life.
The number of successful case studies I’ve written up has taught me that one of the most effective parts of the Resolving Chronic Pain methodology is in helping people not just to understand the theory behind the idea of safety, but in cultivating a felt sense of safety in their body through the use of gentle, experiential exercises. Simple practices that can help people tune in to sensations of ease, warmth and calm in real time.
When someone notices, even for a few seconds, that they feel just a little safer or more comfortable, it’s good to stay there. Patients often notice how calm the sessions are. During the presentation in Boulder, attendees were encouraged to slow down and notice their bodily responses and sensations. They were given time to let these sensations land and savour them, allowing their body to register any shifts. Only then could they find words to describe how they were feeling.
Over time and with repeated practice, these moments of safety become the new normal. It’s like teaching the nervous system a new language, in which comfort and calm are possible again.
Safety starts with the practitioner, too. For those of us working with people in pain, our own sense of internal and external safety is vital. When we feel grounded, present, and connected to ourselves, our patients feel it too. It’s contagious in the best possible way. From that place we can slow things down; stay in genuine connection; focus on the here and now; invite gentle awareness of our body and emotions, and support our patient to notice, and stay with, that growing sense of ease.
The conference presentation went well. Around 200 delegates attended and there was a lot of positive feedback about the experiential exercises. Attendees were also given time to offer feedback to each other from partner exercises. The most significant takeaway, though, was that slowing down is the most important skill. Healing isn’t a race. When we slow down enough to notice moments of safety, the body starts to trust again. That’s where the real change begins. It doesn’t happen in the past (which is over) or the future (which isn’t here yet). Healing happens in the present moment.
Whether you’re living with chronic pain or helping others through it, cultivating a sense of safety, both inside and out, is where the magic begins. It’s the gentle foundation that allows the parasympathetic nervous system to do what it’s designed to do: heal.