At some point in the Resolving Chronic Pain process, the question of difficult conversations seems to come up. Someone might say ‘Now I know myself better, I want to set some firm but loving boundaries with my family. How do I do that?’ I usually advocate for self-disclosure.
I recently heard the American writer, actor and (as it turns out) pig owner Lena Dunham talking to comedian Amy Poehler on the latter’s podcast, Good Hang. The two were discussing how a lot of people, women in particular, can be over-generous and indulgent in relationships without asking for anything in return. The result, perhaps inevitably, is resentment and distress.
Decades of attachment research from Bowlby to Beebe to Gabor Maté tells us about the bond that has the potential to shape how we cope in later life.
Sally came to me originally with severe back pain. We worked together and, over time, it disappeared.
Sally told me that her family were reasonably supportive when she was making important decisions about her work, and her partner seemed strong and reliable. But as time went on she began to realise that everything wasn’t as OK as she’d wanted to believe, and she started to take a closer look at some of those relationships.
Protecting your body and mind from hidden stress
In my work supporting individuals to resolve chronic pain, combat anxiety and other stress illness conditions, one issue repeatedly emerges: unresolved emotional stress. It plays a significant role in sustaining these conditions.
Seth is a building contractor based in Co. Wexford. When he first came to see me last November, he told me he’d been living with persistent and debilitating back pain for several years. It had been thoroughly medically investigated but nothing was found to be wrong. It was a colleague who suggested Seth get in touch with me.
When Charlie started working with me some time ago, he told me he’d seen therapists in the past who had helped him contain some of his symptoms. Unfortunately, though, his chronic stomach issues had persisted and even increased over time. After we began work together he made huge progress in resolving this problem and, importantly, came to understand the cause of his neuroplastic symptoms.
Many of you reading this lived with chronic pain for several years, seeing countless health practitioners and specialists in order to try and discover what was wrong. Sometimes you’d get small insights from these health professionals that helped, and at other times you’d find yourself in more pain.
Beth runs a sauna in a woodland setting for people needing time and space to recover from personal trauma. This might be anything from a slight misalignment (often referred to as a small ‘t’ trauma) to a full-blown, debilitating ‘T’ trauma. The sauna’s surroundings are designed to promote healing and help the unconscious mind ease into parasympathetic autonomous mode; to switch off the fight or flight response and release the hypervigilance associated with trauma.