At this time of year it’s hard to avoid hearing about new year’s resolutions. Although the general consensus seems to be that they rarely last, many of us still go ahead and make them. Mine was to stop drinking alcohol for six weeks, and week one has gone splendidly, mainly because I think my body is so relieved to have a rest from consumption!
I’ve been thinking about how we can challenge the assumption that resolutions don’t last. What I know is that reflecting on past challenges and how you coped with them can support positive change. It provides evidence of your own resilience, while also strengthening self-efficacy - the belief that you can handle future obstacles. Research suggests that this belief is a powerful indicator of building self-confidence, motivation and optimism. Rather than just repeating positive messages or making affirmations, we need to provide ourselves with evidence.
Someone told me recently that, when reflecting on how they had worked with me on reducing their chronic pain, what spurred them on wasn’t simply leaning in to positivity as they had in the past, which had resulted in feeling like a failure. ‘What worked was being encouraged by you to remember particular times in the past where I adapted, learned from the experience and ultimately recovered.’
With this in mind, ask yourself these questions about 2025:
When did you feel liberated, at peace, most joyful or carefree?
What was it that gave you energy?
What were the things that drained your energy?
Did anything appear impossible, but you did it anyway?
The answers to these questions will give you some evidence to build on, proving that you have dealt with difficulties and unexpected challenges, and learned many things that will enable you to address new obstacles in the future. Successful entrepreneurs often reflect on their business failures as great teaching vehicles that have helped them hone their skills.
So, in 2026, how can you specifically use the evidence that your answers have given you? Can you introduce more opportunities to feel liberated, at peace, joyful and carefree? Take the evidence you have and think about how you can recreate the situation, perhaps with a different spin or a fresh angle. If you sang in a carol service and loved it, can you join a choir or sing along with music of your choice privately more often?
Can you build on whatever gave you energy? If helping an elderly neighbour in their garden gave you energy, can you pop in to see them or someone else to ask what else they might need help with? Alternatively, maybe you can develop an interest in tending your own garden.
The things that drained your energy need small red flags to help you identify what doesn’t suit you. Perhaps you can address some of these things by thinking about them differently, or finding someone else to help you. My mother hated ironing - which she called ‘the devil’s own job’ - and it definitely drained her energy. When the ironing pile grew tall she’d become disgruntled and complain about anything else, including her children’s behaviour. Needless to say, one of our chores as soon as we were old enough was to do the ironing! Some time after I’d left home, she told me in wonder that one of her friends loved ironing and they’d created a barter system: ironing in exchange for baking, which she loved.
Finally, it can be hard to remember something that felt impossible after you’ve overcome a particular challenge. But if you can identify something that you felt was an impossibility around this time last year, then please write about it and give yourself credit for solving the issue.
Having collected all this evidence, you’ll be in a prime position to identify habits that will have a positive effect on your life if you do them more consistently. Sometimes we focus too much on doing new things, forgetting that we’re already doing good things, albeit inconsistently. For example, can you take a short walk every day at a time that suits you?
As for me, I’m positive about sticking to my no-alcohol plan because I have evidence that it works. If there’s a reception before I give a presentation I never have a drink because I know that when I’m clear-headed I feel more confident, motivated and optimistic. I’ve just watched the recording of my presentation at the ATNS conference in Boulder, and it seems to confirm this. Setting myself a six-week time limit also gives me confidence that I’ll stick to the plan.
Happy new year!