Last time I wrote about grounding, and about how it’s introduced gently in the Resolving Chronic Pain process. A suggestion to do roll-downs. A question about how your tummy feels. Through this subtle seeping-in of trust in your felt sense, grounding begins to take hold.

I’m often struck by stories from those I teach who’ve had a distressing experience of being told by a Yoga or similar instructor to ‘let go’. For someone in chronic pain with a nervous system that’s learned to predict threat, letting go can feel profoundly unsafe. If your body has frequently encountered unsafe sensations, it may never have properly registered a safe one. This is where grounding comes in.

What do you do when you care deeply about something, but things don’t go according to plan? I’m not talking about everything going catastrophically wrong, but just in an irritating, maddening and very human way that can happen when something means a lot to you.

At some point in the Resolving Chronic Pain process, the question of difficult conversations seems to come up. Someone might say ‘Now I know myself better, I want to set some firm but loving boundaries with my family. How do I do that?’ I usually advocate for self-disclosure.

Beth runs a sauna in a woodland setting for people needing time and space to recover from personal trauma. This might be anything from a slight misalignment (often referred to as a small ‘t’ trauma) to a full-blown, debilitating ‘T’ trauma. The sauna’s surroundings are designed to promote healing and help the unconscious mind ease into parasympathetic autonomous mode; to switch off the fight or flight response and release the hypervigilance associated with trauma. 

I recently heard the American writer, actor and (as it turns out) pig owner Lena Dunham talking to comedian Amy Poehler on the latter’s podcast, Good Hang. The two were discussing how a lot of people, women in particular, can be over-generous and indulgent in relationships without asking for anything in return. The result, perhaps inevitably, is resentment and distress.

Decades of attachment research  from Bowlby to Beebe to Gabor Maté  tells us about the bond that has the potential to shape how we cope in later life.

Sally came to me originally with severe back pain. We worked together and, over time, it disappeared.

Sally told me that her family were reasonably supportive when she was making important decisions about her work, and her partner seemed strong and reliable. But as time went on she began to realise that everything wasn’t as OK as she’d wanted to believe, and she started to take a closer look at some of those relationships.

Protecting your body and mind from hidden stress

In my work supporting individuals to resolve chronic pain, combat anxiety and other stress illness conditions, one issue repeatedly emerges: unresolved emotional stress. It plays a significant role in sustaining these conditions.

Seth is a building contractor based in Co. Wexford. When he first came to see me last November, he told me he’d been living with persistent and debilitating back pain for several years. It had been thoroughly medically investigated but nothing was found to be wrong. It was a colleague who suggested Seth get in touch with me.